Partner with your children to facilitate positive change!

Children yearn to be recognized, and we all know everyone loves to be complemented. It is an interesting peculiarity of human nature that we have a deep fundamental desire to be right. Complements are powerful because, when we genuinely acknowledge someone for an admirable trait or job well done, we satisfy their intrinsic appetite to be right. In this way verbal appreciation is a form of currency. In a world of scarce appreciation, the unexpected dynamic that complements create is one of endeared loyalty and positive change. Simply stated, by speaking to someone in and up lifting way, we directly cause sustainable modification in their behavior.

Remember, that which is recognized is often repeated! When you speak to people not just for who they are, but who they can become, you create a positive way of being for them to live into the future. With this in mind, remember that the most effective way to encourage positive change is to partner up with your child to help attack the problem that is being dealt with while supporting them.

Keep in mind that there are three ways to get people to take action. One way is to ask them to do it, another way is to force them to do it, but perhaps the best way, is to help them recognize for themselves why it's in their best interest to take a certain course of action. Consider the following statements that complement, hold them accountable, and affirm positive expectations.

"I believe in you too much to watch you (insert activity).”

“I know you well enough to know that you don't really want to (insert activity), but what you really want is (insert positive change).”

“(insert name), you are an important person in my life and it would be right if I didn't tell you how disappointed it makes me feel when you (insert activity).”  

“Hopefully by now you realize that I want absolute best for you. Because of that, I think it's only fair that I let you know that (insert activity) isn't acceptable to me because it doesn't help you get to where I know you want to be.”

“I am convinced that you have everything it takes to do well at (positive change), and so I'd be letting you down if I didn't share with you how it makes me feel when you (insert activity).”

I hope that you find this useful in achieving your desired results. I must credit author Rory Vaden and his book, Take the Stairs for the source of this content and I recommend this book whole-heartedly!